How did I lose my brand new blue bra? How could it have been handed to me by the very nice courier man and then gone without a trace?
I was meeting Glenn at the Blues club and doing my usual multi tasking, feeding the pets, lighting the fire, tiding up, getting changed and messaging him to say I was going to be late.
“Leaving home soon. Think I’ve lost the plot … well I’ve lost my brand new bra ? Only just arrived today ? Looked everywhere! oh well guess it’ll turn up but it’s a mystery.”
“Sorry I’m wearing it!”he responded quickly
Much as I would like to blame Glenn for the missing bra and see him wearing it, I knew that was impossible. As only I was home when it was delivered.
Then followed a list of suggestions from Glenn including “Maybe the Courier man took it back? Maybe Sox our old grumpy dog had it? Maybe the cat has it? Did you throw it away with the packaging …. Maybe you are actually wearing it?”
The messages included funny GIFS of dogs and cats wearing bras etc He was obviously enjoying the mystery of the missing bra!
“Maybe with the cups ? Or on the rack somewhere?” All very amusing and unhelpful.
When eventually I arrived at the Blues club. I got greeted by his friends asking if I’d found my bra yet!!!
“The thing is, it’s not exactly a small item is it !” He chuckled.
By this point I am being reminded that I’d already lost my knickers (check out “Those big girl knickers” blog) and now my bra and possibly my marbles. I retraced my steps and I remembered unwrapping the parcel, admiring the pretty turquoise lace and leaving it in the kitchen, while I threw away the packaging. I sort of thought I might have put it on the stairs to take up later and I kept wondering if the cat would take it but Glenn assured me that she is very particular about colours and styles and it just wasn’t her thing.
Every day for the next week Glenn would greet me with “Did you find your bra yet?”
I was having terrible trouble with the vacuum cleaner, it just wouldn’t pick up and I pulled out so much fluff it looked like small creatures had died up there.
“I’ll have to take it back to the shop!” I ranted
“You know they’ll find your bra stuck in there.” Glenn stated
Filled with horror and yet curious I begged him to unscrew the nozzle and see if he could find it. He found more fur balls but no bra.
It would seem my bra had vanished for good. I gave up and ordered another one.
Last weekend I was away and Glenn sent me this random photograph which I puzzled over with my friend.
“I guess that solves that question” Glenn cryptically messaged me.
“What is it? Where is it?” I asked.
“I’m Cleaning the fire place,” He replied.
Suddenly I realised what it was!
“Oh Nooooo I burnt my bra !” I squealed.My friend howled with laughter and told me to not wear one anymore and Glenn said a few “strong words” that I can’t write on here….. but had to agree with.
Notes to self? Stop multitasking? Don’t burn new bras. Trust the pets more. Concentrate and take my head out of the clouds. Enjoy yet another funny story about my slightly ditzy ways. Appreciate Glenn’s detective tendencies.